Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Reality Check from the Five Year Old

My son was goofing around with me the other day. He was in one of his funny moods and just saying all sorts of happy and silly things. Some were correct, some were made up, and others were just plain wrong but there was no convincing him of that. At one point he called Jess (my wife) my daughter. He laughed when he said it so I figured he was being silly so I laughed and said, "No she's not, silly." He came back and was a little more insistent that he was right. He was sounding pretty sure of himself it seemed and I started to second guess that he was kidding. I said, "You are being so silly! She's not my daughter, she is my wife." He looked right at me and said, "No Mommy." I was expecting more silliness but then he said, "She is your partner." 

Jess and I exchanged a glance and agreed with him. "Yes, that too," we answered and that finished the game. It struck a cord in me though. 

Now I know that it's not because he is aware that the law prevents his Mommies from getting married. He hears when introductions are made and we usually use partner more than wife and that  is why he responded that way. However, it was one of the harshest reminders of the reality of our family. 

We are not married, by law. 
Even a five year old knows that. 
Our five year old. 

I know that the Defense of Marriage Act will be repealed one day. I know that marriage equality will come to all 50 states. I believe I will see it happen. Some days the waiting is just harder than others. 


  1. Carissa Hickey-BarclayApril 25, 2012 at 6:35 AM

    Wow. Great post.

  2. Out of the mouths of babes. But at least its in his consciousness - never would have been when I grew up. And not discussed. The younger generations will finish the job all of us started and make it a more just world.

  3. I hear you! And hopefully will be able to update you (with good news) sometime soon re. the situation in France. Elections are due in less than 2 weeks, with one candidate clearly saying he will give us equal marriage rights, and the other saying he won't. It's not the most important thing to me to get married but I think it's a very important thing for everyone. I'll keep you updated, as promised (but I just had to react to your post). Be brave, and give my best to son and wife, Dieter