My Letter from Senator McCain

I love politics. I enjoy contacting my elected officials by email, phone, letters, etc. I want to participate in the governing process. I believe it is one of our most import responsibilities as citizens to do. We must do more than just vote. We must make sure that our elected officials know how we, as their constituents feel on the issues that matter most to us.

The tough part is I live in Arizona. I am happy to say that I live in a district where I actually feel the representation I have in the State Legislature is good. I am also very pleased with my Congressman, Ed Pastor.

Then you come to Senator Jon Kyl and Senator John McCain. I would say their representation lately couldn't be farther from my views. Although I know when I call their offices or write to them it is a long shot that they will be on my side, I do it anyway. You see, for me, these are the people it is most important I reach out to. I must continue to let them know I am here and they represent me.

I recently emailed Sen. McCain and asked him to support the Repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). I know of two other constituents that support this - Cindy McCain and Meghan McCain. Since these two constituents are family and can't seem to sway him on this I know it's a long shot. Plus this is not the first time I have engaged the Senator on this issue. I have met with his D.C. staff in the past to discuss this issue on several occasions. I have also called his office and sent other emails on numerous occasions over the years.


Today I got a response from Sen. McCain.

From: senator@mccain.senate.gov
Sent: Wednesday, June 15, 2011 1:07 PM
To: Kathy Young
Subject: Correspondence from Senator McCain

June 15, 2011

        Dear Ms. Young:


        Thank you for contacting me to express your views on the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). I appreciate hearing from you.

        Recently, I was saddened to learn that the Obama administration instructed the Department of Justice not to defend any legal challenges to DOMA. I believe, like most Americans, that the institution of marriage should be protected and defined as a union between a man and a woman. It is this definition and only this definition that acknowledges and supports the vital and unique roles played by mothers and fathers in the important job of raising children.

        For this reason, I do not support the dismantling of an institution that is the very foundation of our society, and replacing it with newer and more flexible understandings that are of questionable public value. I will continue to promote unions that have traditionally provided the basis for stable families and committed relationships.

        Again, thank you sharing your thoughts on this issue. You can be assured that I will keep your concerns in mind should any legislation pertaining to DOMA be considered by the full Senate. Please feel free to contact me in the future regarding this or any other issue of concern.

                                          Sincerely,

                                          John McCain

                                          United States Senator

 
There was no surprises in this response. Still hard to read. Still hurtful. In no way surprising.
 
In the future Senator McCain will get another email from me asking him to support the repeal of DOMA. It won't surprise him. It may annoy him that I didn't seem to hear his answer. 
 

Because the thing is it's his job to listen to me. It's my job to keep speaking to him. I will use different words and I will try different stories to convince him that recognizing my relationship has great public value instead of  something that to him is "of questionable public value." The point is, when my kids are old enough to understand the fight for equality and they ask me what I did to help protect my family, giving up will not be part of the story.

Meghan McCain on The Colbert Report

Last night Meghan McCain was on The Colbert Report and discussed being Pro-Sex, Pro-Life, and Pro-Gay Marriage. I have said it before and I'll say it again - Meghan is my favorite Republican.

The most interesting part of the interview is when Meghan talks about gays and which party is best for them. McCain says,

"I do believe the Republican party can be a safe place for the gay community. President Obama said he was going to repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell and I think me and a lot of people are still waiting for that. And the Democratic party isn't necessarily a better place for the gay community than the Republican party is. And I think if you go to the basic beliefs of the Republican party, keeping government out of your life, why can't that include marriage?

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Meghan McCain
colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Gay Marriage

There has been a call to boycott the June 25th Democratic National Committee LGBT Leadership Council fund raising dinner at Mandarin Oriental Hotel in Washington, DC. Maybe it's time we stop blindly funding the Democrats and actually expect results. We must hold them accountable. I agree with Meghan McCain - the Democratic party is really safer right now than the Republican party. I agree we are accepted by more Democrats than Republicans. And more Dems are willing to take our money and "support" our issues. But I'm changing the definition of support. I don't want it to be "yes I wish you could have equal rights." I want it to be "I did this, this, and this to get you your equal rights." Then I will give my money to the Democratic party again.

President Obama and the other leaders in the party, this is not 1993. We have seen California voters take rights away from us. We will not sit idly by and wait for things to happen to us. We will demand and make change and you will help us - or you will lose us. I believe this because I think there are more Meghan McCain's out there. One thing we have seen is the Republicans want to keep their money flowing. Just look at all the abstinence only programs and the countless other things the religious right were able to get in the last 8 years. The Republicans aren't going to lose that money as long as they stay Pro-Life.

Wouldn't it be something if the Meghan McCain Republicans got more done for the gay community that the Democrats have.

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Ok while I'm not going to jump big time on the Meghan McCain bandwagon I am going to at least applaud her for having the guts to be an individual. I am also going to applaud anyone who can call themselves a "progressive republican" which to her means someone a little more progressive on the social issues. Anyone that is ready to not use the social issues as a wedge is a republican I can listen to. Listen to Meghan say she is for gay marriage.

Human Rights Campaign Holds Annual Lobby Day

 

Members of HRC from Arizona with Rep. Ed Pastor

This past Thursday the Human Rights Campaign held its annual Lobby Day event.

Lobby day is a day where members of HRC come from all over the country to lobby their members of Congress on the LGBT issues that will be coming up.

This year HRC had their largest group ever with almost 300 people coming to lobby. I am from Arizona so it's a tough day for us. While we do have some friendly Representatives to work with, we are still a Republican state and it make for some tough discussions.

We first met with our Senators - Jon Kyl and John McCain. Now when I say we met with them what I mean is we met with some staffer from their office. McCain's staffer was newly off the campaign and didn't know how the Senator felt about any of our issues.

While that meeting was a waste of time we did meet with a knowledgeable staffer from Senator Kyl's office. We discussed our 6 issues - Hate Crime, fully inclusive ENDA, tax equity for domestic partner and health beneficiaries act, domestic partner benefits and obligations act, repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell, and Early Treatment for HIV act. While I don't think we earned any votes I think as tax cutting conservatives they will at least read the two bills that cut taxes.

The afternoon allowed us to meet with some friendly faces. One was Representative Raul Grijalva. He always has a 100% score on the HRC score card. He is also the Vice Chair of the LGBT Caucus. He is a great supporter of our community and it is always a pleasure to meet with him. And yes we actually do meet with him.

In fact, all of our Democrats meet face to face with us. We had some hard discussions with our Blue Dog Dems that sometimes have to worry about how their vote will play at election time. But Rep. Giffords and Rep. Mitchell are still very strong allies. Another 100% earner is Rep Pastor. Another great supporter of the community.

We did have some opportunity for education. While I won't talk about all the Republicans, I will talk about Rep. Flake. He voted for the sexual orientation only version of ENDA. While thanking him for that we began to speak of the fully inclusive bill that would be coming soon. He told us he was much more comfortable with it being just sexual orientation. We began to ask if he knew and transgender people. He said he did not. We shared stories about some of the people is Arizona and why this was important to have in the bill. We told him we would get him more educational information. He said that would be a good idea. This is why we have been discussing this issue for the last 3 years. To provide education and improve the comfort level for them to ask the questions and have the conversations that need to happen.

All in all Lobby Day was a huge success. Hearts and minds were changed in many states. I highly encourage everyone to attend a lobby day in your state or with HRC in Washington D.C.. It's a unique experience and one you will never forget. This was my third time and already I can't wait to come back and do it again.

Conversations With a Six Year Old

On the way to take my little Princess to her first grade class today we had an interesting conversation. I mentioned that tomorrow was election day. She asked what that meant. I reminded her of the day she went with me to vote and we voted for a woman named Hillary Clinton to run for President. She said

"Oh yes I remember that!"

 I explained that was and election where we narrowed the choices down. Hillary didn't win that one but that was ok. Now tomorrow we decide if John McCain or Barack Obama will be President. She says from her booster seat in the back,

"Well I want Barack Obama to win because John McCain is dumb!"

 Now I figured she got that explaination from the ex's house. Here is more of the conversation:

Me: "Well I agree."
Princess: "You do?"
Me: "Yes I am going to vote for Barack Obama."
Princess: "Oh. Well that's what Julie at school said. But I like Barack Obama too."
Me: "Good. I don't think you need to say it quite like Julie said it if it comes up at school ok? However, I do like Julie even more now.:
Princess: "Why?"
Me: "Well that means she probably heard that from her parents and they are probably voting for him then."
Princess: "Oh"
Me: "Do you want to come with me and vote tomorrow for Barack Obama?"
Princess: "YES! Kids voted online for President and Barack Obama won. I didn't get to vote but I would have voted for him so I'll go with you tomorrow."
Me: "I saw Barack Obama on TV thanking the kids for voting for him! Ok cool. I'm so excited it feels like my birthday or something. Mom Mom and I are going to go work all day tomorrow at the election because it's so important and we are so excited."
Princess: "Oh. Why are you so excited?"
Me: "Because this is the first time there is and African-American that could be President. It's a big day. Plus there are some laws we have to vote on and one we really don't want to happen."
Princess: "Oh. What's an African-American?"
Me: "It's a person with black skin - like John in your class."
Princess: "Oh ok I get it."
Me: "It's a big deal because for a long time African-Americans couldn't do things like vote or own a house. People wouldn't be nice to them just because their skin was black. Pretty dumb huh?"
Princess: "Yeah that is dumb."
Me: "It would be like not playing with someone or being friends with someone because they had freckles or were in a wheelchair. We don't choose our friends because of how they look we choose them based on how they treat others and if they are good people right?"
Princess: "Yes, I play with people all the time that don't look like me. One even has a freckle on her forhead."
Me: Laughing "Exactly we don't care if someone is a little different than us as long as they are kind and make good choices then they are ok to be friends with. So that's why this is a big deal tomorrow and I just can't wait."
Princess: "Me too Mommy!"

It had never occured to me that she didn't know what African-American meant. We have friends that are African-American and she has had classmates since pre-school. I was also kind of proud that she hadn't learned people had labels and I was kind of sad that I had ruined that and put a label on people for her.

When we got to her line and were waiting for the teacher a bunch of moms were talking about going to the polls tomorrow and how to work their schedules. I spoke right up and said,

"Oh we are going before school and she can be late for all I care. Tomorrow is too important and she will be right there with me when I cast my vote."

The moms looked at me with renewed enthusiasm. They started thinking that getting up and getting there at 6 am was not a bad thing if that is what it was going to take.

Oh and one last thing - Remember, I live in Arizona. We are going to turn this state BLUE!